Not Good, but Better

Bodies are my business. Sounds sexy, right? Don't say yes and don't get excited. It won't look good on you from here and it definitely won't get you an appointment. After years of hourly appointments based on torn rotator cuffs, Achilles tendonitis, stiff necks that can barely turn, and, most humbling, bodies recovering from the havoc of chemotherapy, it's difficult to remember how and why any and all sexual aberrations about massage therapy have come to be. Neither Hippocrates or Galen, one brilliant ancient Greek and one brilliant ancient Roman (and we should almost always refer to them) wrote about massage as anything other than a healing modality. In fact, Galen wrote in disdain of this social myopia. It was, he said, "all wanton witticisms, not at all befitting a man so learned in so august an art." The topics and issues my hands and brain try to untangle all day are not nearly as interesting to people as they are to me and people in the health field. Many people, and it's not unnatural to wonder, would rather ask how many of my male clients have gotten erections. Pathetic jokes about "happy endings" aren't uncommon either. My own [...]

Not Good, but Better 2017-04-16T05:26:40+00:00

The Turnover

Sometimes there is hardship in massage and it seems to center on the moment a client turn from his belly to his back. No one likes this part. Maybe because they are too relaxed to move or because it signals the beginning of the end. One sweet client of 18 years, always gives herself a quick pep talk. "Here we go," she says. Then, once she makes it through the revolution, "Ugh." Another client, simply says, "No," but then does it any way. One of my most candid accuses me of trying to kill him. No matter the reason, in nearly 20 years of practice, the variations of this maneuver, which doesn’t even require one to open his eyes, have been pretty special.* There are the fast-turners, who in the thrash of momentum, get unintentionally violent. I’ve been slapped in the face, kneed in the gut, elbowed and hip checked. A table or two has almost flipped with them. There are the finicky ones, who once on their backs, shift, fidget, scratch, squirm, and arrange the sheets as if they are in their own bed. Then there are the petite turners, who move so quietly and easily, they don't [...]

The Turnover 2017-04-16T05:37:09+00:00

Budget-Friendly Massage

Right now, you’re either intrigued or incredulous. Given the small, but often wished for chance of “budget” and “massage” becoming a synergetic pair, your doubt and hope have you torn. And carrying you further and further down this page. It goes without saying that massage has been assigned a luxury label. Unlike designer suits or handbags, with massage there is no knock-off version worth it. But does it always have to break the personal bank? No. They are more therapists and massage outfits then ever, all worth exploring. No matter our income, money is always going to be a source of stress. We’re always trying to find more of it no matter what we already have. So, it’s almost a moot point. Having a body and mind that works well will never be a moot. That said, darlings: Book regularly Whether it is once a month or once a week, keep the massage on the calendar. How does this make it more affordable? It may be a little shrewd on a therapist's part, but wise on yours to make it part of the budget. If you know you have an appointment in the near future that is going to [...]

Budget-Friendly Massage 2017-04-16T05:20:52+00:00